Brain Age

Our last night in Maryland we stayed with our friends Kim and Audie Lea.  Kim just turned 60 and so one of their kids (I think) bought him a Nintendo DS.  An odd gift you might think for a 60 year old, but wait, there's more.  Along with the DS, they bought him this game called 'Brain Age'.  (Ever heard of it?  If not, stay away.  It's a tool of the Devil.)

Evidently some doctor/researcher in Japan has developed a system of games that will assist in exercising one's brain.  There are different kinds of exercises: Sudoko, word scramble, acrostic challenge, speed tests for number differentiation, making change, etc.  According to this Doctor, these will help get the blood flowing in your brain and help get your brain 'in shape.'  One of the ways you can tell how the training is coming on a day-to-day or week-to-week basis is by the program assessing the age of your brain.

Well, my bride played with it while we were at their house and determined that maybe this would be just the thing to assist me with my 'diminishing capacities'.  (I personally think my dalliances with controlled substances as a younger man has more to do with it than anything else, but. . .)  So, we bought a DS for just me and Barbara.  And we bought, not just 'Brain Age', but 'Brain Age 2' as well. We want the full effect.  When we're done training, we'll be the Lance Armstrongs of the brain world.

You ever get the feeling that suggests to you that humiliation is imminent?  Like in school when they were trying to teach ballroom dancing and yours was the first name they called as a demonstrator?  Or when your out  watching your friends doing Karaoke and someone convinces you that doing your favorite Eagles' song solo would be a really good idea? Yeah, it was like that.

I pick up the thing.  I take the test.  And the little screen tells me that my brain age is (drumroll please) 73.  73?  SEVENTY-STINKIN-THREE!  How?  How could my brain be geriatric?  How could this happen?  Don't get me wrong, I'd understand if it said my lungs were 73 or my heart was 73 or my joints were 73, but my brain?  I'm reading and writing and thinking about stuff all the time.  Contrary to popular belief, I happen to know that I use my brain on a daily basis, more or less.  I spend hours thinking about stuff that no one else I know thinks about (Which in and of itself is disconcerting, by I digress).  I never claimed to be a rocket scientist or the sharpest tool in the shed, but 73?!?

Needless to say, I was not happy.  So, I did what any normal, red-blooded, middle-aged person would do in my situation.  I took the test again.  And again.  And again.  Four days later, I broke 70.  Yesterday, I managed 43.  But, I'm still not happy.  I should be happy.  I shaved 30 years off my brain.  But of all the words to use to describe me at this moment in time, happy is not one of them.  Yes, I know I'm 42 (43 in about 3 weeks).  Yes, that does mean that my brain is about my age.  But now that I've shaved 30 years off, why can't I shave another 15 or 20 off?  Maybe if I work hard enough, this little DS deal will be like the fountain of youth for my brain.  How cool would that be to have the brain of a 22 year old in perpetuity?

I don't know about you, but I seem to do that a lot.  Wherever I am, I want to be somewhere else.  Whatever age I am, I want to be a different age.  No matter what I achieve it never seems to be enough.  No matter how much weight I've lost there are more pounds to be shed.  Even when it comes to silly electronic games I'm not content.

Some discontent is good, like when we are discontent with the number of people who have access to clean water and nutritional food, or discontent with how available I've been to my bride or children during the academic year.

But this isn't that kind of discontent.  Believe it or not, I think this variety of discontent is directly connected to how much I trust God.  I think that's worth chewing on for a while.

Peace.

To be continued. . .

Comments

[cookie in cream]

i can't get any more stamps is my brain age low enough and is the game over HELP ME!

[bob skinnigs]

my brain age won't let me get any more stamos doea that mean the game is over and you have to make a new profile help

[Jason Douros]

Ah yes, we picked up the Brain Age 2 limited edition DS...oooh red and black DS...and both Pam and I are addicted to it as well.
Part of your score has to do with how you use the controls...i.e. can you input the answer quickly the way the "game" wants you to. So it isn't all just your Brain drying out with age.

And your goal is 20 years old.

I decline to disclose my age on the grounds that it may embarrass me as a person and gamer.

[Donnie]

So what is the goal here? To eventually achieve the mind of an 8 year old? That doesn't sound good, either. I think I'd rather be able to say I have a mind that is ahead of my time!
Love you, Ron.

[Dawn]

Hey, don't know how else to reach you right now (brain age thing, yeah).

Anyway, Cookie's skin condition was due to mites (common in rabbits) and Cookie is now one sighted - has a cataract in his right eye. But he's still doing his thing, hopping around, little cutie pie.

Dawn, DFry102142@comcast.net

[Jay]

Discontent!!! Indeed the solution and problem of the human race... we spend our lives running but never quite getting there... and when its all over did the question is, did we build an Empire or did we join in building the Kingdom???

[Dean]

DUDE.... your thousands of miles away, and still making me think.

I keep thinking about you and Jason Douros.... that you guys should keep an eye on cheap airfares and email those that want to visit you when there's "Can't Miss" deals.... I put it on you guys since you guys are the ones that moved away... I know, I know, I moved too.... I guess it's really cause I'm too darn lazy to do it myself....

Love you and miss you man!